Choices
by Lunar Serenade
Summary: In our lives, we are presented with many choices... but what do we do when our choices have another life in the balance, a life we hold very dear to us? Squalo x Reader


**Choices**

We are presented with many choices. That was a fact you knew all too well. In your life you made many - you chose to take this mission, chose to face certain death to reach freedom.

But there were always those choices that appeared they were already made for you, the answers far too obvious to deny.

"Join me or else he dies."

You suddenly tensed, your gaze widened. Despite the burning sensation that seared your senses, everything became decidedly clear.

You had faced many life or death decisions before... but they never had another life on the line, much less of someone you held very dear.

"Tick. Tock! Precious time is being wasted, Johanna. What do you choose?"

You simply closed your eyes, wondering. Just how did you get yourself into such a mess? Then you remembered - how it all started.

~{x}~

_Il vuoto. Desolazione._ Emptiness. Desolation.

Such words seemed to describe exactly how you felt as you dragged your feet across the quiet hall of Varia headquarters. On normal occasions, creativity sprung forth like an overflowing conduit of water. Your muse always seemed to take hold of you, controlling your paintbrush whenever it so much as grazed across the canvas.

You would admit you had suffered creativity blocks before, but you were always able to overcome them.

'_But it's never been this bad before..._' You never faced an instance when you were at the total loss at what to draw. It was as if your creative conduit was sucked dry, leaving you empty. 'This is so... strange...'

Before you could ponder such an odd conundrum any further, a loud crash startled you. You snapped out of your musings as you looked up, staring at a crumpled blonde heap lying before you.

"What are you doing here, Dino?"

Bronco Dino Cavallone slowly lifted himself from his graceless fall and said with a bright smile, "What? Is it wrong for a guy to visit his old friend, Jo?"

"Not if he comes along falling flat on his face!" you chastised him, but released a weary sigh. "Look, I'm really busy right now. I have to get going. Xanxus would kill me if I'm late to our meeting!"

As you brusquely stepped passed him, Dino quickly caught up with you and copied your pace.

"Ooh… someone seems a little cranky today! Did someone try stealing your art supplies again?" You did not respond, feeling your muscles tighten. "Ah, I bet they were just jealous because you're an amazing artist! What have you been drawing anyway? I hope its something good!"

You merely stared into his cheerful expression, that annoying smile on his face, for a long, pensive moment. You then dropped your gaze and felt your body shudder, reminding you of that blank, white canvas, your inability to procure that spark of inspiration you so dearly longed for.

"I... I don't know..." Dino was taken aback by such a response. You refused to meet his gaze, finding yourself even more ashamed once you spoke your fear aloud. "I really don't know, Dino... I just feel creatively drained lately. Some artist I am, huh?"

Your lips twitched into a bitter, wry smile as you slowly turned your head to look at your old friend. His face softened, his cheery smile fading from his lips.

"Jo... You're not still overwhelmed with all the mafia stuff, are you? Xanxus still putting work on you?" he asked in concern.

You limply shook your head. "Ah, no. I have been feeling much better ever since he demoted me, but I still feel... strange. Now I feel..." You felt your words die at your lips.

"How are you feeling now?" he asked in concern.

You remained silent. Just how did you feel? Sadness? Frustration? Depression?

"Honestly, I feel... **nothing**."

You just felt completely numb inside. Painting and drawing always awakened sensations that indicated that you were still alive in this gory, mafia world.

Now you just felt completely hollow.

"Why don't you just leave?" Such a question caught you off guard. "You're not an active member anymore. There's nothing stopping you from going out that door and never coming back."

You merely smirked at the thought. "If only it was that simple, Dino. If only... You know why I can't. I'm still bound here by that accursed contract. If I try to go, they would only find me and take me back, probably even kill me."

Dino offered no response, unable to deny that fact. There was just no way around it… You heaved a languid sigh.

How you joined the Varia was a complete and utter accident.

You were still in college, poring over your studies on the arts. It was your lifelong dream to live your life as an artist and separate yourself from your old life in your mafia Family. You didn't want to live around such horrors and bloodshed. All you wanted was to be was free.

Fate was a cruel mistress, effectively turning all your plans completely upside down.

If you weren't in such a rush getting back to the university that day, you would have avoided seeing the Varia completing one of their secret assassination mission. The moment those two saw you, your fate was sealed.

You didn't remember what happened next. You supposed you were lucky to have met up with the thunder guardian's peons instead of Varia's elite. Once you woke up, your eyes met what would be your living hell, a man who personified your darkest nightmares. Xanxus. The Varia boss.

_"We ran background check on you, and our sources seemed to believe you have... Potential. You seemed to have been rather skilled and well-trained by your family." The dark-haired mafioso's expression did not change, continuing in a gruff tone, "Here is a deal: either you join our mafia or die."_

Xanxus's bluntness disturbed you, rattling you to the very core. Either join the Vongola – specifically the infamous Varia – or _die_?  
You went to college to _avoid_ the mafia.

You had no choice. Your answer was obvious.

When you joined the Vongola's assassination squadron, you worked diligently and took pains to polish your special techniques. You rose fairly high in Varia ranks; nowhere near the level of the assassinating elite, but still held a decent position.

But you were never the killing type. Though growing up in your old mafia Family made you tough and strong, nothing prepared you for death. Seeing all those people die at your hands… it nearly drove you over the edge. The dead haunted your every thought and mind, plaguing your mind with their dying faces and cries.

All that pressure, that inhuman control over a person's life… it made you break down in the middle of a mission and almost getting your teammates killed, as well as nearly maligning the Varia's pristine record.

Xanxus promptly censured you for your weakness when you returned. They were the Varia; they were focused on the mission and do not fail no matter the circumstance.

He then demoted you to the very bottom of Varia ranks, holding a position that seemed nonexistent in the mafia. You were considered a standby member, ready to go into action when called upon, which had never occurred.

No matter how many times you asked, nearly begging and pleading, Xanxus never gave you what you truly wanted – _**freedom**_.

Working on your art usually staved off such unquenchable desires and distract you form your misery. It used to be the only thing that could make you feel, remind you that you're still alive. The operative word in that sense _was used to be_.

You felt your heart drop, beating painfully as it reminded you of another reason why you risked staying in the Varia.

"But the way, I've always wondered this. In all the years you were here, have you ever so much as caught a glimpse of him?"

You shamefully dropped her head, your forlorn and abashed demeanor answering him in ways words couldn't.

Dino only laughed at your expression. "Ah, I guess not, eh? I guess I'm not surprised. You both are in entirely different ranks, not mention putting you different jurisdiction."

"You can't blame me for being optimistic, can you? Ever since I heard he was here, I just kind of hoped I'd see my old, sharky friend…"

The two of you released a tired sigh.

"Well, there's no use wearing such a long face. I actually tried looking for you because of something your boss told me." You immediately perked up, eyeing your blonde friend with clear interest.

"You'll find out soon, but all I have to say… be careful. You have to think smart about this… Okay, Jo?"

All you could do was stare. Before you could interrogate the Cavallone any further, you were walking into Xanxus's office. Dino then left your side, saying he had other issues to attend to, and wished you good luck.

But… good luck for what? What in the world did Xanxus want to speak to you about?

You mentally cursed your blonde friend for instilling this sense of curiosity and fright. After all, Xanxus had never summoned you before… and if he was now, what he wanted to talk to you about probably was not good.

"Johanna Harper… hmph. You finally decided to show up." You froze in your place and looked forward, your eyes locking onto his hard gaze, at the man that took everything from you.

You quickly bowed in reverence. "Xanxus-sama, it's been awhile. Whatever did you summon…"

"Cut the formalities, trash. I have no time for that crap." He slid a piece of parchment across his desk. Curiosity took hold of your senses and drew you nearer, examining the paper with curious eyes.

"I'm offering you a simple deal, Harper. It would be most profitable on both of our accounts if you accept."

Your lips curved into a wry smile. "In other words, accept or die. Neh, Xanxus-sama?"

His expression remained unruffled. You had answered your own question. '_Ha… Déjà vu all over again._'

He then simply continued, "If you intend to accept this deal, then you also accept this mission I'm assigning you."

You perked up in surprise. Mission? What in the world…?

As if sensing your bewilderment, he scoffed in annoyance and elaborated further, "Yes, a mission. You know the Varia withholds the elite. We harbor no weaklings."

"But what does that have to do with the mission?" you asked.

"Simple. I want you to prove you're not waste of space and are worthy of the Varia by completing this mission. If you manage to be successful, you're free to go."

'_W... What?_'

You were rendered speechless. Your eyes widened.

Did he… really mean that?

You immediately flew to the defensive, inquiring skeptically, "You can't be serious… you're pulling my leg, aren't you? After all, no Varia mission could ever be that simple."

"I do not joke, garbage. I already spoke with the ninth boss and he permitted you to leave if you truly desire." His expression remained unruffled, cold and impassive like a glacial ice. "I never even said this mission was easy. If you just accept, I'll debrief you on the details." You paused for a moment in consideration, inciting an impatient scow to contort his features. "Look, you're not even going alone. I've assigned one of my subordinates to assist you and ensure our success record remains flawless with you alive or dead. His target is partnered with yours so it's killing two birds with one stone. You are wasting my time, Harper. Are you going to accept or not?"

You flinched back at the vehemence of his voice, but considered the inquiry. It was an excellent question. Were you to accept or decline? The concept of freedom was like a drug injected into your veins, intoxicating your senses and skewing logic with the very idea of it.

On the other hand, it was unusual for the man to offer such a thing to  
you – to anyone for that matter.

'_If he's offering me this chance, does he believe that I'd…?_'

The thought was far too frightening to complete. A shiver raced down your spine as you decidedly blocked out such a disturbing thought.

"Fine, I accept," you replied coolly. "Now, what's this mission about?"

Your body tensed as you watched a strange anomaly stretch over his lips – _a smile_. It was a disturbing sight since Xanxus rarely smiled. Scratch that! You had never saw an instance when he had so much smirked. It was creepy to say the least, making it seem like he actually had wanted you to accept, as if there was something he knew that you did not

"Excellent... I'm going to introduce your partner first. It seems he finally arrives..." His smile turned into a scowl and flung a glass of water at the newest arrival. You winced, hearing it shatter with a loud crash. "Scumbag, you know I don't like it when my subordinates are late."

"**Vvvvoooooii!** It wasn't my fault! That stupid Bronco came out of freakin' nowhere and kept talking to me! Moronic trash..."

Suddenly, your heart seemed to stop beating. You held your breath. That voice... No matter how many years have passed since you both last seen each other, you could recognize it from anywhere.

You quickly turned around, eyes locking onto a pair of wet, familiar blue.

"Squalo, this is the person you are going to be working with for the mission... Miss Johanna Harper."

Neither of you spoke. All you could do was stare at each other, shocked to finally meet under such an unusual circumstance. You waited for sopping wet Squalo to respond.

What did you expect? A warm, welcoming reception? For him to embrace you and proclaim how much he missed you?

Superbi Squalo was never the type for such behavior.

In fact, you weren't in the least surprised by his response.

With his finger pointed directly at you, he cried out, "VOI! What the hell is going on? You can't be serious!"

~{x}~

After that, Xanxus had briefly detailed the mission. Both of you left the next morning and arrived at your target's location by nightfall. Squalo volunteered to survey area to gauge their defenses, leaving you alone.

It wasn't like you minded. The current solitude allowed you a few moments to reflect on your thoughts.

Your hand gently touched your aching chest. What was the matter with you? You shouldn't even be feeling like this. You both had changed. Distance was expected... but you never expected it to hurt so much... to see Squalo react so perversely when he saw you...

"Voi, everything is clear. I took care most of the defenses."

You turned your head to face Squalo.

Despite how much everything has changed him, despite the nauseating scent of blood, you still couldn't help, but admire him. His short, tousled locks had grown out, appearing like a cascade of white silver in the moonlight. Then his eyes - so blue, so sharp, as if they penetrated into your very soul.

Captivated by the sight, your hand intrinsically twitched, feeling this creative urge you feared was long gone...

"Voi, baka, stop daydreaming already!" You snapped out of your musings with a quick shake of your head. "Have you heard a single freaking thing I said?" You responded with a few vacant blinks of your eyes. "VOI! Pay attention! That mindlessness can get you killed! Do you have any idea who we're up against?"

You replied confidently. "Of course I do. My target is Teimitsu Kyotarou, a traitor to the Vongola."

"Hell yeah! Did you even know that bastard was even Vongola's top inquisitor and strategist? Did you know that he was even working with another traitor named Asura? He was one of Vongola's top swordsmen, not to mention my target! We are up against two freakin' geniuses. If we go about this the wrong way, we could get killed. Do you get it now?"

You visibly winced at his words and shamefully dropped your head, whispering, "I... I never knew that. When I asked Xanxus-sama for more details, he never informed me about those things..."

After a moment, you raised you head to look at him. The silver-haired shark was perfectly unreadable. You didn't have the slightest clue what he was thinking. Would he chastise you for you ignorance? Was he disappointed that he had to work with such a useless partner?

On the other hand, you could never quite understand him, even when you were younger. Instead of scolding you, he released a low scoff and turned around. "Voi… Lazy bastard of a boss... probably just making me do more work. Now you know so be more careful, Jo! Let's get going."

Something in your heart seemed to flutter, drawing a light smile on your face to hear him pronounce your nickname. You followed behind him without question and watched him attempt to open the door.

"Damn! The freakin' door is locked!" the shark cried, cursing even further under his breath. "And it seems we have some unwanted company…"

You instinctively flinched, watching Squalo block a blade rushing towards your head. You looked back, watching the silver shark sprint forward and stab the attacker directly in the heart.

"Hmph! Serves that bastard right! Sneaking up on us like that…" Squalo cajoled proudly, watching his victim crumple down with a  
satisfying plunk.

He never seemed to notice that another assailant appeared out of the darkness, his gun poised and ready to shoot. You quickly pulled your revolver out of its holster and fired the first shot.

Instead of a bullet, your gun fired out a small, blue blob, smattering around the shooter's gun. Squalo and the attacker stared at the substance curiously, unsure what to make of it. No matter how hard he tried, he just could not fire or free his hand from the hard gunk.

'_Blue - restraint._'

You fired two more shots. Bolts of yellow burst forward and splattered against his arms. Both arms fell lifelessly to his sides.

'_Yellow - paralysis._'

Then you fired the finishing blow. A shock of green rushed through the air and stained his throat. The attacker stood confused for a few moments before he suddenly crumpled to the ground, gasping for breath. Squalo leapt into action and stabbed the attacker right in his heart.

'_Green - poison._' You released a low sigh.

He shouted. "Voi! I could have handled it without your help!"

You merely rolled your eyes and placed your gun back in its holster. "You're welcome, Squalo."

"But what the hell did you even do? Paintball or something?" he inquired, poking the hard, blue paint with the tip of his sword.

"Sort of. Since my old Family, the Aato Family, utilized art, my assassination technique was with paint. Instead of bullets, I shoot  
chemically altered paint. The blue paint hardens at faster speed than ordinary and traps its target. The yellow paint is for paralysis. It seeps through the skin's pores and to muscle and sensitive tissue, rendering the victim's limbs useless for a short period of time. The green paint is for poison and works the same way as the yellow one. This one goes beyond the muscles and touches the body's delicate nerves, slowly breaking them down. In this case, when the green paint touched his throat, it burned his vocal chords, as well as his breathing passages."

You suddenly jumped in surprise, seeing the door was promptly knocked down.

"Tch. Still sounds like a fancy way to say paintball to me. Enough talking! Let's go."

You rolled your eyes as you followed the shark inside. '_Would it kill the shark if he swallowed his pride for once and admit I did a pretty good job?_'

~{x}~

Strong. Fearless. Focused. Those were a few words describing someone of true Varia quality. No matter how annoying or irritable, every member he came in contact with truly belonged to the Varia.

In the case of you, Johanna Harper?

You were not even close.

Superbi Squalo casted a sidelong glance over to you, noting your calm, relaxed demeanor, your arms crossed carefreely behind your head.

How in the world could you be so calm? Sure you seemed to have skills that were above average at best, but you could not afford to be so lax. Your target was a manipulative genius. Killing anyone like that was far from your level of expertise.

Looking at you now, you didn't seem to have a single care in the world.

Someone as weak and naive as you did not belong in the Varia. Someone–

"Hey, Squalo?"

"VOOOII! What the hell do you want now, woman? If you are going to complain how you think we're lost, then I don't want to freakin' hear it!"

"…I just wanted to say I'm glad you were my partner for this mission." The swordsman ceased walking and turned his head to face you. You had halted as well, wearing this silly, bright grin on your face. "I know I must be a burden to you, but I just wanted to thank you for putting up with me! I know everything will be alright because I'm with you!"

The rain guardian merely stared at her, looking at the softness in your features, that genuine gleam in your eyes.

Squalo quickly turned his back to you. "Hmph! Voi, we have no time for such sentimental crap! Don't thank me until this mission's complete."

His eyebrow twitched, hearing you chuckle at his brusqueness.

'_Tch. Dammit, Jo… so distracting…_'

You were just too innocent, too tender, too soft. You just did not belong in the mafia world. Those of your gentle spirit were known to be crushed by the Varia.

"…Aw. How quaint is this. Too bad I have to interrupt such a touching moment."

Before Squalo could react and move another step, there was a sound of clanking metal. You screamed.

"**Squalo!**"

He snapped his head up to see a metal cage surround you. "VOI!"

No matter how futile the action was, he attempted reaching out for you, grab hold of something. Just before you two could touch, the floor had swallowed you down into the floor.

"JO!" There was a sound of footsteps. Squalo turned his head. "Voi... How lucky am I to finally find my target." He swiped his sword in the air, a smirk rising on his face. "Now, you better explain what just happened here, and I'll make sure your death comes quickly."

~{x}~

Pain. Flaming. Everything felt like it was burning. It was as if a fire entered into your veins, searing every nerve and tendon that stood in its path.

What had happened? You didn't remember. Falling... A simple injection... Squalo. _Squalo…_

"Squalo!" Your eyes snapped open as you forced your body to a sitting position.

"You're finally awake. About time." You froze in your place, staring at a pair of cold black, a deceptive smile on his face. "I was starting to worry for you… Johanna Harper."

"H… how do you know my name? Just who are you?" you asked guardedly, trying to inch away from the frightening figure.

"My, you are supposed to be a member of the Varia, and yet you don't even recognize your own target? How amusing." He knelt down beside your sitting position, inclining his head to a slight bow. "You know me as Teimitsu Kyotarou… but my real name is Aato Kyo."

You froze in your place. Your heart dropped in your chest. "You… you were part of the Aato Family?"

Kyo laughed at such an accusation. "Part of it? Johanna, I am boss's _son_ – the product of a torrid affair perhaps, but still related by blood."

You could not believe your ears. You quickly reached for your holster, clamoring for your gun.

"Ah, looking for this?" A gasp rushed from your lips as you saw your gun was held in his hands. You tried reaching forward to grab it,  
but you fell pitifully onto the floor. "Movement is futile. The poison I injected into you should properly restrain you until I administer the antidote!"

"Why do that? If you plan on killing me, then do it already."

"Oh, Jo-chan, you are far more useful to me alive than dead!" Seeing the confusion in your face, Kyo began his explanation.

"The Aato family is infamous for using art as their weapon of choice. Do you know what mine is? My art was the art of the mind, manipulating people's brains, twisting it into thinking what I wanted them to think without resorting to illusions. Words and actions are far more effective and persuasive. The person whom I wanted to persuade the most was my father. As the bastard child, I am the illegitimate heir to the Aato mafia. It was impossible to prove to my father my worth, why I should take his place as boss. I had to do something incredible. That was when I decided to take down the most powerful mafia – the Vongola."

"That was why you became a spy? To gather Vongola intelligence and use it against them?" she asked.

"Partially. I needed to gather information, discover some incentive and reason why the Aato Family should wage war against Vongola regime. Could you imagine my luck when I so happened upon your file, Jo-chan? I had to wait quite awhile for the perfect moment. When I finally heard of your demotion, I knew it would simply be perfect if I played the role of traitor. Xanxus would surely assign you to the mission to take me down."

You were completely confused. "Huh? How did you know that? What made you think that would happen?" Your inquiry only made him laugh.

"Ah, how naïve! You haven't figured out the real reason why Xanxus assigned you to this mission? Why he sent you, a mere weakling, to take down someone like me? My, how sad…"

"Well, since that's such a ridiculous question, then how about this: why am I important to your plan?" you scowled.

Kyo then smirked. "Simple. The Aato family had monitored your movements when you decided to leave our Family… but then you suddenly vanished from their radar. Poof! Many assumed you were dead or went into hiding. Just imagine how he'll react once I tell my Family that the Vongola had kidnapped one of their subordinates, tortured and beaten her until she submitted to be their slave? My father would be enraged, and I would lead the dethronement of the Vongola empire."

"But there's a problem with that logic! The Vongola never had so much as laid a hand on me!" you flinched and rolled back, curling into a tight ball when Kyo kicked you in the stomach.

"I promise I can make it very convincing if you don't cooperate." You only responded with a withering glare. "Now since you're quiet and sedated, here's my proposal: Either join me to take down the Vongola, or else. I wouldn't think about it for too long. You might die from the poison if you don't answer quickly enough."

You considered the inquiry for a long moment. Instead of an answer, a new question floated into your mind. "Wait… where's Squalo?"

The young man responded airily, "I wouldn't worry about that Varia guppy. He's probably dead right now. I sent Asura on him and I doubt he'd live."

Your muscles tensed at such bluntness, and you dropped your gaze. He couldn't be serious. Squalo… _dead_?

"Oh, I hope I didn't strike a sensitive nerve! The fish was rather important to you, wasn't he? I've been monitoring your movements  
since first you entered my base and seen the way you looked at him." You dared not look at him. He then clapped his hands together. "Ah! How about this then? Join me or else he dies. I could easily save him from meeting certain demise. Now, Jo-chan. What do you say to that?"

You suddenly tensed, your gaze widened. Despite the burning sensation that seared your senses, everything suddenly seemed very clear. You had faced many life or death decisions before... but they never had another life on the line, of someone you held very dear.

"Tick. Tock! Precious time is being wasted, Johanna. What do you choose?"

Now everything led you back to this question, perhaps the most climatic moment of your life.

Join me or die. Do this or face certain death… How you were pressured by these statements and how you had always submitted to them. They had always used these questions to bend you to their will, make it seem like you had no real choice in the matter.

'I've seen the way you looked at him…'

Your lids slid to a close. Just how did you see him? As an old friend, a comrade… maybe even more? You just didn't know.

But just what do you do when presented with choices such as this?

"Jo-chan~ Time is running out for both you and the swordsman. What do you say?"

You opened your eyes and looked at your gun, seeing it hang loosely in Kyo's hands. You considered your response for another moment and bit your lip.

"I… I…" His eyes widened in expectation as he drew closer to you, awaiting your response. "I…"

This was it. You had decided.

Despite the pain, the unbearable burning sensation pervading all throughout your body, you managed to kick your revolver out of his hands. You quickly grabbed and pointed it at him.

"I will never join you! Though I do care for Squalo, he would never forgive me if he heard that I just gave up. He would much rather meet death than suffer such a disgrace! If Squalo wouldn't give up, then I surely won't. Plus" – you clicked the safety off and smiled – "You never planned on letting Squalo live, did you?"

Kyo merely blinked and blankly examined your gun, that fire in your eyes. Then, his reaction was one that you never expected – he released a roaring laughter.

"_Koko de watashi ha anata ga sukoshi oroka na mausu to omot te i ta._ Ah, to think, I thought I had you figured out and knew how to push your buttons… the brain surely is easy to manipulate, but the heart is always the most difficult. You're much smarter than you look. Well, go ahead. Shoot."

Without hesitation, you pulled the trigger… to see nothing came out. All that exited the revolver's barrel as a spray of smoke.

Coughing slightly, he said, "Silly, predictable girl… did you really think I would keep your gun loaded? I know all about your technique and emptied it! You're still so very naive..."

You narrowed your eyes and mentally cursed. _'…Crap._'

The gun suddenly fell out of your hands. You collapsed onto the floor, feeling this unbearable heat surge through you veins. The world spun. You could barely breathe.

"Ah, the poison must really be going into affect now…" Kyo noted aloud. He coughed once. "I suppose I must cure you cannot stand such insolence." You had no breath to even whimper when his foot cracked against your ribs. "Jo-chan, you should have just accepted my offer. You would have been much better off... But I'm sure my father wouldn't mind if I showed his old, lost subordinate it a few hundred pi-!"

Suddenly he fell to his knees, succumbing to a long coughing fit. His breath began to be erratic and labored. His fingers clawed at his throat.

"W… what the hell…?" he wheezed.

Despite the pain, you laughed. "To think, you said you knew all about my techniques, yet you don't even know this one! I have to clean out the chambers periodically due to the residue left from my chemically altered paints. If I don't, the remains can release this deadly, poisonous fume – the one you breathed in moments before. It works gradually, but the first signs of its affects is paralysis. Soon it would lead to a total disintegration of all your organs." Kyo's eyes widened at your explanation. His smile melted away, appearing now on your face. "So… who's better off now?"

All Kyo did was glare. "Tch… stupid girl… if I'm going down, I'm making sure that you coming with me!"

You watched in horror as Kyo slowly crawled towards you. The poison was much too fresh; still too early to make any real affects. You needed to move. You tried moving your muscles, but to no avail. The poison had left you a sitting duck.

Before you knew it, his hands wrapped themselves around your neck. You tried prying him off, but your muscles woldn't move. You were too weak. You were helpless.

'_So this is how it ends…_' Your vision started to fade. Wasn't this what you wanted anyway? You did say you thought you would be free… even if it was through death. You simply laid there. There was no use in fighting the inevitable anymore. 'I just wish I knew if he was alright… I just want to see him again...'

"**VOI! GET OFF OF HER, BASTARD!**"

Suddenly the grip on your throat disappeared. You coughed violently, desperately gasping for breath. Still, the darkness remained. You were still fading.

"Don't you dare give up. Hold on!"

You could barely hear it. You struggled to keep your eyes open, but the wait was too much. Suddenly something pierced into your flesh, but the burning sensation ceased. You finally were able to relax.

"You better be alive, dammit!"

You smiled in response, willing your eyes to stay open, to stare at that luminous blue. Your mouth opened to say something, but no words formed at your tongue.

"Idiot, don't even try. Just shut up and rest already."

You did as he said and smiled. '_Thank you… Squalo…_'

Then everything fell into darkness.

~{x}~

Crimson languidly stared into a pair of blue. The Varia leader's fingers tapped against his desk in a melodic rhythm as he processed the information in his mind.

"So… the mission was a success?" Xanxus repeated lazily from his seat, his expression betraying not an iota of emotion.

Squalo replied with a toothy grin. "Voi, of course!"

"And Kyo and Asura?"

"Both properly take care of." The swordsman suddenly chuckled. "Heh, heh… looks like the chit managed to succeed, neh? Who'd think of it?"

Xanxus regarded him with his usual scowl. "Yes… looks like she did…" Before Squalo could react, a glass of water shattered against his skull. "But _you_ failed."

"Voi! What the hell are you talking about? I completed my mission just fine, dammit!" Squalo shouted in outrage, hastily wiping glass fragments off his head. "I watched the girl complete hers, and I tore my target to shred! What more do you want from me!"

The Varia boss only scoffed. "Tch. You know that part of the mission was a pretense for your real objective. And you just failed me, scum. Get out of here. I don't need my office reeking anymore of blood and failure."

With an annoyed grunt, Squalo obeyed, storming out of his office. His superior was simply insane. No matter what he said, he did technically complete his mission… stupid bastard…

"Oh! Wow, Squalo, you look terrible!"

Squalo didn't so much as turn his head to face the cheery Dino Cavallone. "Shut up. I'm in no mood to deal with you."

Dino simply laughed. "Ah, I just wanted to congratulate you on another mission success. Nice to hear that the shark used his brain for once and listened to my advice!"

The rain guardian merely glared at him. "Well answer me this, Dino. How'd you know about my real target in the first place? How did you know that I was supposed to kill that person if Kyo didn't take the person out first?"

"How'd I know you were actually supposed to kill Jo?" Squalo did not respond. Dino smiled wider. "Ah, I have my sources to say thr least! I just hoped you used your brain when you found out your target was really our dear friend!"

"Then why the hell did you not tell me before?" Squalo shouted at him.

He replied, "I was afraid you might reconsider or declined. Then Xanxus would have partnered Jo with that suck up Levi or that sadist of a prince. Much worse than you in my opinion." Squalo remained silent. The bronco added, "But I wasn't sure if you'd really carry it out or not. I had to take my chances there."

"If you had doubts, then why the freakin' hell didn't you warn her?"

"It would have been pointless to tell her the truth, especially if she knew that she was partners with you. She would choose to stay and take her chances."

"Why the hell would you give her a choice? I'd get her out of here a long time ago."

The blonde merely pointed out, "But we're dealing with Jo here. No matter what I do, she'd still want to stay. I wouldn't want to get in the way of her choices anyway."

The swordsman found himself dumbfounded by such a statement. They both knew she could be rather naïve and airheaded at times, but she must have had enough sense to run when she could instead of taking such a risk. Didn't she?

As Squalo continued to stare at him, Dino's lips twitched in amusement, looking as if he knew something he did not.

"Let me say it just has to do where her loyalties lie."

Squalo remained perfectly confused. "Voi, do you mean to Xanxus?"

At that statement, Dino released a roaring laughter. "No way! She hates the man though she'd never speak such a thing aloud! Her loyalties lie with someone whom she holds… far closer to her heart." His warm brown orbs examined Squalo's stupefied face, seeing the shark stare at him as if the bronco was speaking complete nonsense. "Oh, even a dumb shark can figure it out. Oh. If you're wondering where the doctors are, they should still be in Jo's room. I bet you have many things to take care of. You really do look terrible."

Squalo took the hint. He stormed through the halls, following Dino's directions as he searched for your room.

Finally he found it, watching as nurses and doctors file outside.

A nurse looked at him in surprise. "Oh! Squalo-san, you need to be taken care of too, right? We just need to get some supplies and we'll be…"

"Voi, take your time, trash."

He quickly stormed past them and entered inside your room. The contents didn't truly surprise you. Everything was littered with art supplies – brushes, paints, paper, and canvases. Squalo rolled his eyes, scanning the room until he finally found you. You lay sleeping on your bed, covered in bandages and appearing very peaceful.

'_And despite your injuries, you still find time to draw._' He scoffed at the thought, roughly snatched the piece of paper out of your hand… and was immediately stupefied.

_Her loyalties lie with someone whom she holds... Far closer to her heart._

Superbi Squalo,at first, didn't understand what he meant, but now… could it be?

Looking at the picture, that familiar shape, that long hair, could it be that the one Dino was talking about was...

~{x}~

"S... Squalo?" You didn't know how you knew it was him. Perhaps it was because he still reeked with blood, but it didn't really matter. The point was you knew he was there.

You opened your eyes and looked at him, his long silver hair and those sharp, blue eyes. You sighed in relief. "Oh! I'm so glad you're okay! What happened? Was the mission complete?" Squalo nodded his head. "How about yours? How mad was Xanxus when he heard yours?

You watched as Squalo's face was wiped of all perceptible emotion and gaped at you. "Voi… you knew?"

You smiled gently. "I may be naïve, but I'm not that stupid. I figured it out a little too late, but I do know."

Squalo looked at her and then grunted. "Tch, I'll probably still hear about it from that bastard, but I can handle it." You released another relieved sigh. Everything then was silent again. "So… you'll be leaving now, won't you? Boss promised to keep his word and let you go."

You looked at him for a moment and said without hesitation. "No."

"Voi! Are you a freakin' idiot? Why the hell not? I thought you wanted to get away from the mafia."

You replied simply, "When I first joined the Vongola, it was because I was forced. I had no choice in the matter. The ninth gave me permission to leave if I desire, and I don't. I _choose_ to stay here. I can be part of the mafia and an artist."

"Why? Why the hell would you stay? That can't be the reason. Now you better tell me something better before I kick you ass out of here myself."

You merely stared at him, pondering such a question.

It was the answer to all your questions. Why you stayed so long in the Varia. Why endure such torment.

Superbi Squalo wanted to know why she wanted to stay? She would damn well give him an answer.

'_I want to stay here… because that's where you are._'

You boldly grabbed his shirt and pulled him down into a kiss.

It was your choice – your choice to remain with Squalo. A choice your heart made and will never regret.

As you both finally broke the kiss, you both looked at each other, sapphire with your bright gaze. The feelings were mutual. It needn't be expressed in words. Squalo understood.

_"Whether we love, or close our hearts to love, is a mental choice we make, every moment of every day." ~Marianne Williamson_

****

Thanks for reading~ 


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